Hi, I’m Jess Ryan, and if you have a daughter who’s making you a little (or a lot!) crazy, I can help.
I’m going to make some guesses about what might be going on.
You love your daughter more than anything.
You want her to be strong. Confident. Independent.
You want to have a close, positive relationship with her.
But let’s be honest, not matter how hard you try, she can drive you nuts! In fact, she knows exactly how to push your buttons. So, despite your best efforts to stay patient, you get angry, say things you regret, and end up feeling guilty. Like a crappy mom.
You worry you’re messing her up. You’re failing her. Yet at the same time, you find yourself resenting her and feeling frustrated that you just can’t seem to get it right. It’s maddening!
Yup, I’ve been there. I know how it feels to believe that I don’t know how to parent, I’m doing everything wrong, and I’m always falling short. And to add to it, that I’m the ONLY one who can’t seem to figure it out.
Do you feel that way too? I’m here to tell you that’s not true.
I know that with 3 simple questions, and only those 3 questions, you can parent calmly and with confidence. You can feel GOOD about your parenting. You can have discussions with your daughter without them turning into arguments. You can laugh and enjoy each other’s company. You can bond more, and battle less.
Just 3 Questions will give me all of this? Can it possibly be that simple?
Yes. It’s that simple.
The key is my i.l.u. parenting framework.
i.l.u. is text shorthand for “I Love You”.
It’s also an acronym for intention, leadership, and unconditional love, the basis of the 3 questions.
i.l.u. is all you need to enjoy the positive relationship you’ve always wanted with your daughter.
I want to share these 3 simple questions with you – get them now!
To get the 3 questions, just click the button below! (it’s free)
My Story
For a long time, I struggled HARD with my parenting.
It started with a severe case of post-partum depression following the birth of my first daughter. It was supposed to be the greatest time in my life, yet I was deeply depressed, confused, and terrified. Instead of being the most amazing, it was the darkest.
I was intensely ashamed and felt like I couldn’t tell anyone, so I suffered alone.
This continued into my daughters’ toddler years when my depression and anxiety were at their worst. I felt overwhelmed, angry, and guilty. I said and did things I regret. I hated myself for being a horrible mom. I so desperately wanted to figure out how to change, but I was working 50+ hours a week, renovating a house, and trying to be a wife and mother.
I just didn’t have the time or the energy. I was irritated and frustrated most of the time. I felt toxic to myself and my family.
One day my sister came to me and said “I’m scared for you. I don’t know who you are anymore.”
It hit me that I needed to wake up and make some massive changes. I got help, and started to climb out of the hole.
It took a long time, but as I felt better, I was still craving a simpler life. I knew I could be a better mom. I believed there had to be an easier way.
Over the course of a few years, with intense healing, research, and training, I completely turned things around. And it was just in time, because my daughters were about to enter their “tweens”, a stage when sweet girls become experts at pushing buttons!
I had two powerful epiphanies:
1. It was critical for me to drastically simplify my chaotic life
2. Every parenting decision and challenge could be handled by asking myself just 3 simple questions
This seemed way too simplistic, so as I developed these questions and tools, I tested it fully for over a year.
i.l.u. parenting was born!
i.l.u. literally saved my relationship with my daughters.
With i.l.u., I can now have conversations with them without losing it. They try to push my buttons less often, and when they do try it’s easier for me to stay grounded. Instead of feeling frustrated, worried and overwhelmed, I feel confident in my parenting decisions. I enjoy a simple, calm household and have more mental and emotional space for myself.
I finally feel like a good mom. Of course it’s not perfect all the time. We still have our moments just like all families. But everything is easier.
With i.l.u., life can be like this for you. I will show you how.
I want YOU to feel the simplicity and ease that i.l.u. brought me.
Get the 3 simple questions now!
To get the 3 questions, just click the button below. (it’s free)
About Jess Ryan
Jess Ryan, founder of i.l.u. parentingTM, is a parenting coach trained and certified through Harvard educated, Oprah magazine columnist Dr. Martha Beck.
Jess gives moms of daughters massive relief from second-guessing, guilt, & frustration, empowering them to handle any parenting challenge calmly and confidently. Her specialties are stress and anxiety, and raising strong, confident tween/teen girls.
Jess found her true calling after almost 2 decades working in air traffic systems. Her work in this “prior life”, supports her love of and talent for organization and household systems.
* Certifications:
– Life Coach, Martha Beck Institute
– Grief Coach, The Creative Grief Coaching Studio
– Doula, Doula Trainings International
– Tween & Teen Yoga Instructor, ChildLight Yoga
– Usui Reiki Level 1 Practitioner
* Masters Electrical Engineering, Syracuse University
You can contact Jess here.
What moms have to say about Jess…
There is something so powerful in being supported by someone who has lived a similar pain and struggle and has came through the other side as a survivor and healer. I highly recommend Jess. She has a true gift that touches all who meet her.As her doula mentor, I can say that any mom would be blessed to have her support.
Aimee Brill, Birth Activist, founder of Village Birth International and Doula Trainings International
Jess just gets it – she’s been there and has made it through. After talking to Jess, I find myself “anchoring down” when my child is getting difficult. It helps me stay in my business and semi-relaxed. I recommend Jess to any mom struggling with depression, or just feeling overwhelmed as a parent.
– Kristen Mattison
It was so liberating to share my story with Jess in a safe environment. I recommend Jess to all moms who struggle with feeling like they’re not good enough. – Chelsea Johnson
Jess is so easy to talk to. She has the ability to see many sides of a situation, especially aspects I might not even have considered. I’ve learned to be more careful about what I say to my children, and also to come at conflicts from different ways before I react strongly. The most important thing to know about Jess is how genuine she is and how much she loves to help others.
– Kristen Baker
Jess is open and non-judgmental. I now feel I’m able to be more fluid in my day without feeling overwhelmed ALL the time. I recommend Jess to any mom looking to find balance.
– Jen Liddy
My conversations with Jess allowed me to see my journey with new eyes, and to feel more at peace. I recommend Jess to mothers who are suffering with their own perceptions of themselves. She has an immensely compassionate heart and makes no judgments.
– Christa Gallopoulos
Jess is direct and to the point, and at the same time is a kind, generous, and loving coach. She has helped me stop doubting myself as a leader and a mom. I recommend Jess to moms who want wholehearted support.
– Dr. Pam Denton
Jess is an encouraging coach with great insight, honesty, and integrity. Her training is clearly evident in her mindful communication and creativity.
Deb Buehler, author of “The Hollowed Heart: Inspiration for Women Awakening from Grief and Loss”
Jess is very caring, thorough and easy to talk to.
April Kurtyka
Jess has great empathy and a rich-lived experience around family, loss, grief, and health. She is an effective witness with her willingness and openness to be with whatever comes up.
Dale Lang, Expressive Arts Therapist