The angry, vengeful energy in the air is terrifying.
“Find him! Torture him! Kill him!”
So many good, loving people with twisted faces of anger, fists clenched, ready to kill. A virtual angry mob with burning torches, calling for justice that we can’t even define (was it really served?)
So many people roiling in hate.
Hate sucks.
Nothing good ever comes from hate. EVER.
What will serve the victims and their families (and that is our collective, primary goal) is not hate but compassion.
Since the older brother is dead, I’m talking specifically about extending compassion to the younger brother, Dzhokar Tsarnaev.
And I’d like to clear up some confusion right away.
You see, compassion is not condonation.
I don’t want to run through a field of flowers with this guy. Or give him a big bowl of ice cream, pat him on the head and say it’s ok, I understand.
In fact, I wanted to tear his face off. I wanted to HURT him. I wanted him to SUFFER. I HATED him.
But as that feeling rolled around inside me, I noticed how horrible it made my body feel. It made me feel tense, desperate, frustrated, crazy.
I noticed that when I felt that way, I was turning my back on the people who needed my healing energy and love because I was so busy channeling hate.
The victims and families won’t benefit from a swirling cloud of hate and revenge tornadoing outside their hospital window.
So I stop and breathe and try to allow the situation to be turned like a strange object in my hands.
Because I want to check this object out. Study it.
I want to understand it so I can get clarity on what I personally can do to help heal this horrible wound.
And I can’t do that if I look at only one side.
To look at another side of it, I ask myself a question.
What good will come out of hating him?
It isn’t rhetorical. I really want to know the answer.
If you do hate Dzhokar Tsarnaev, when did you start hating him?
Was he born with horns and a pointed tail, as perhaps he would have been if he were really “evil”?
Did you start hating him when he was a baby? Was he evil as a cute 3 year old?
Just 11 years ago he was a gap-toothed 8 year old like the little boy he killed, Martin Richard. Did you start hating him then?
Dzhokar is 19 years old. That’s still a kid.
It’s a pretty safe bet that someone fucked him up pretty seriously starting from an early age. Someone fed him hate and lies. Someone probably told him stories of evil and horrific acts committed on his people, acts just like this bombing. Someone convinced him that he needed to avenge those acts.
Compassion is not letting this guy off the hook.
Compassion is not excusing or pardoning his horrific offenses.
Compassion is taking some time, even just a single minute, to stop and think about what might have brought this kid to the point where he thought it was ok and maybe even noble to maim and kill innocent people.
Compassion is turning away from hate and focusing energy and love where it’s so desperately needed – on yourself, your family, and your community.
Every single one of us can do something differently today, something that comes from a place of love and compassion instead of hate.
That’s the best justice there is.