I’m a gullible, optimistic mom when it comes to vacations.

The potential for a tranquil, restorative trip gets me every single time.

I envision floating in the pool with a gentle breeze on my face and a drink in my hand, looking svelte. I imagine lounging around, relaxing, and reading (I brought 8 Oprah mags I haven’t had a chance to read at home).

I’m on vacation right now, in paradise, and these images died a horrible death when my extra winter weight and I got thrown off my floatie by the waves of my daughter’s cannonball.

Instead of being a cool, Zen-like vacation mom, I’m like a twitchy squirrel, panicking every minute about where my daughters are, sure I’m going to find them face-down in the pool (it’s a good thing my fears are never morbid).

I’m super tired, and as evening approaches I start to get anxious.

My head fills with air, expands, and floats above my body. My throat starts to ache like there’s a rubber ball in there, and my jaw is sore from clenching and grinding my teeth all day. I can’t feel the rest of my body.

The anxiety is like a shrill alarm clock, one of those old ones whose sound is generated not digitally but by a little hammer hitting a metal surface incessantly. The bell is a warning, not about a specific danger I can prevent, but a general message that I need to be alert because something bad is going to happen.

Since I’m in paradise, surrounded by loving family, my logical brain knows that’s probably not true.

But if you’re familiar with anxiety, you know that doesn’t matter.

I’m always thinking creatively about ways to process and deal with my anxiety.

Read on for 5 tips that have helped me on my vacations and can help you too!

 

5 Tips to Alleviate Vacation Anxiety

1. Create a place for retreat.
Find a spot where you feel safe and can get away from everything. Bring something from home that comforts and calms you. I brought my lovie pillow because, yes, I am an adult woman with two children and I still have a lovie. It’s just a floppy old pillow that my husband likes to make fun of, but this pillow has pulled me through countless emotional breakdowns. It’s taken many beatings and always withstands my rage. Having my pillow here is comforting and soothing and sooo worth making room in the suitcase. On your next vacation, create a cozy little nest for yourself. What would be soothing and calming for you? Bring your lovie!

2. Spend time alone.
Is there any way you can spend some time alone? Your knee-jerk answer is probably no, but think again. Can you ask your sig other to watch the kids so you can retreat? If you are with family, ask your relatives. I realize this can be a tough request, but they are probably happy to help. And even if they aren’t, they and the kids will deal for a short time. Give yourself this gift because it will pay off for all of you in the end. Walk on the beach, go for a short drive, go to your retreat place – just go. Even 20 minutes of uninterrupted alone time can make a massive difference.

3. Take care of yourself.
I’m not saying don’t indulge in yummy vacation food and drink. Just be sure to take care of yourself so you aren’t making your anxiety worse. Get lots of sleep. Take your vitamins, meds, and stay hydrated. Don’t give up exercise. It doesn’t have to be your full workout, just give your body some movement that feels good. Listen to music. Use your most soothing playlist when you are highly anxious and in retreat. Once you start to feel better, grab your feel-good playlist. If you want, share music with the rest of the family. I’ve found that music helps my girls have more fun and fight less, and I’ll do just about anything to achieve that!

4. Don’t feel guilty!
This one can be challenging, and I’m constantly reminding myself that anxiety is not something I choose. Plenty of “shoulds” pop into my head – I should be playing with the girls more, I should go in the pool, I should be less grumpy. These of course lead to sweeping beliefs such as “I’m a horrible mom”. Being hard on yourself makes things worse for everyone, and certainly doesn’t make you less anxious. Do your best and be gentle with yourself. The question I get asked the most is *how* to feel less guilty. I always respond with a question – how would you treat your son or daughter if they grew into an adult who deals with anxiety? Would you berate them and tell them to snap out of it? Of course not! Kids will always follow what they see, not what you say, so model kindness and self-compassion.

5. Focus on gratitude.
Did you know that it is physically impossible for your brain to experience fear and gratitude simultaneously? It’s so easy to tell someone to stop feeling fear and anxiety. It’s the how that’s the hard part! Once I heard this fact, I knew I had found a powerful tool. Every time I feel anxious, I focus on things that I am truly grateful for. Once you get through the standards like your family, friends, and health, think of the little things you appreciate. I did this 2 evenings ago when my anxiety was particularly high. Granted it was much easier to do sitting on a deserted, gorgeous beach at sunset! But I gave some appreciation to how much natural light I have in my home, my warm winter coat, and of course my pillow lovie.

It’s headed toward evening right now and it’s very possible anxiety will visit me again.

So I’ll focus on how grateful I am for the opportunity to be on this amazingly beautiful island in an ocean-front home with my daughters, my husband, and his family.

I’ll use the tips above to deal with my anxiety, and try to treat myself as gently as I would a frightened puppy.

Next time you take on the tough job of being a mom with anxiety on vacation, give these tips a try.

I want to hear from you!

In the comments below, tell me – which tip from above appeals to you most and why?

Also, would you share a tip that has helped you with anxiety on your vacations?